The Struggle

Guess What... Yup you guesses right. still PHAT!!!

2011-02-25T09:15:00.000-08:00

Wow . Talk about disappointment. Well what else can you expect. Right?.
trying a diffrent stratigy to see if it helps me control my out of control weight. I am no longer on a diet. All I am trying to do is make better choices of what I eat. Yes it is still hard to choose the better option most of the times but I have also incorporated excersice, some what more of h20 intake. I have many reason why I must sccomplish this control number one reason being my health. My family comes from a side that has diabeates. reason numver two being my children. I need to be physically fit in order to keep up with them. 2 boys well ware you out in a heart bea. reason number 3 being i have a wedding in Agugust and a cruise in may... Spring is near and i need to step it up a notch or two. I see some of my friends loosing all this weight and me nada.
Could it be that all my life i have been told that i can not do it and now my mind set is stuck in negative?
I don't know

I AM BACK

2010-09-03T11:03:00.000-07:00

WITH TEARS IN MY EYES I AM BACK AT WRITING AND REPORTING TO YOU......I HAVE FAILED ONCE AGAIN. I HAVE GAINED ALL MY WEIGHT I HAVE LOST SINCE MY LAST POSTING. :(
I AM KICKING MY ASS FOR THIS AND LET ME TELL YOU I SHOULD KEEP KICKING MYSELF IN THE ASS BECAUSE I JUST HAD A WOPPER MY WAY. UGHHH I HAVE JUST BEEN GOING AND GOING AND GOING. I HAVE NOT EVEN GONE TO THE GROCERY STORE TO TRY AND PICK UP SOME HEALTHY FOOD FOR THE BOYS AND I
I NEED SOMEONE TO BE CONSTANTLY BEHIND ME WITH A COW PROD EVERY TIME I EVEN THING ABOUT CHEATING. EXTREME INTERVINTION IS NEEDED RIGHT ABOUT NOW.. . . I AM SERIOUSLY THINKING ABOUT PURCHASING HEALTH INSURANCE AND THEN HAVING SOME MAJOR SURGERY BECAUSE I JUST CAN NOT STOP EATING BAD THINGS FOR ME. FOR EXAMPLE THIS MORNING I HAD CROSSANT FROM BURGER KING WITH A SMALL COFFEE. THEN FOR LUNCH I HAD A WOPPER. YESTERDAY FOR LUNCH I DID A SALAD BUT FOR DINNER I HAD A SPICY CHIKEN SANDWICH ON OUR WAY TO THE DOLLER STORE AND PARTY CITY. SO I ATE THAT IN MAJOR HURRY. BUT THAT IS ALL IT HAS BEEN RUSH RUSH RUSH...TRYING TO GET EVERYTING READY FOR THE BOYS BIRTHDAY PARTY, PLUS TRYING TO GET MY LITTLE BROTHER UP HER TO VISIT US , TRYING TO MAKE HEADS OR TAILS OF A LETTER FROM IMMIGRATION SENT TO A FRIEND OF MINE , MY MOTHER IN LAW IMMIGRATION CASE AS WELL AS HER HEALTH, MY DADS SURGERY AND MAKING SURE HE IS OK. GOING TO HEARINGS IN COBB COUNTY SO THAT MY FAMILY CAN ALL STAY UNDER THE SAME ROOF , TAKING MY OLDEST SON TO A SCHOOL WHO WILL BE PROVIDING SPEACH THEARAY ,AND THE LIST GOES ON AND ON...... AHHHHHHH....BUT WHAT IT ALL COMES DOWN TO IS FAST UNHEALTHY FOOD. .......

Day 26

2010-02-26T07:10:00.000-08:00

It's offical ....... I am still fat.......!!!! But what else is new right.

did my little work out with houston and let me tell you it is a work out . I just hope i dont forget any of what they have taught me.
I have been doing good so far but the weekend is here so i need to focus more than ever to help me over come all the temptations that are around me 24/7.

At work yesterday my boss asks me how many pounds I have lost and I told him 13 lbs. Dosent seem like much but he told me that I can not look at it that way that i must look at it as if I HAVE LOST 13 LBS AND I need to reach 15 and then 20!!!!
I must say everybody here at work as been very supportive as well.
Good luck to all and I know we can do this

Day 25

2010-02-25T07:02:00.000-08:00

Yes today is day 25 and i am stuck at the weight i am in. I will go in today and weigh in to see what the damage is and go from there.
On a few positive notes. I am able to wear my wedding ring now !!!!! It had been years since i was able to wear it.
We did it. We danced of a few calories last night. I really enjoyed it. I think my partners benifited from it more cuz they sweated there little hearts out...
Very greatfull for them teaching me how to dance.

we will see what happens.

Day 24

2010-02-24T07:49:00.000-08:00

Yes almost the end of the month and i was supposed to loose 30 lbs. I have not. I have a new plan and I hope it works.
Working out is OK but not fun to say the least. I know for some people dancing a great work out and does the same as working out in a regular gym. so that is that game plan. I would like for it to help me but not just for loosing weight but help me surprise my husband and show him my new moves.

Now more than ever I need all the support i can get... Please Lord Help us all

Day 23

2010-02-23T05:56:00.000-08:00

I am not a happy camper this morning. One day I will have the strength as my tiny little friend. One day. I hope that one day is soon..
So had a ladies nite last nite.....had 3 tacos and 3 cazuelas, and 2 shots of vodka. yeah!
I was so looking forward this ladies nite out like you have no idea. Now that I have that out of my system i can continue the journy of weight loss.
Anybody feel free to smack next time i think of eating unhealty.
I must get in shape for april!!!!!!

Day 22

2010-02-22T06:22:00.000-08:00

WOW.......yeah......where shall I begin.
Friday was a great day stayed on the wagon Temping to do a wing night but no i did good.

Saturday was another story.We were out all day running Arron's so of course I had to open my big mouth and say " I could go for some Five Guys" do you think the hubby could have said no no no he is like ok and drove right in to five guys. I was so full though , that night i did not even have dinner because I was still full from the lunch I had.
Sunday. same running around . Took the kids to chucky cheese and was temped to order the hot wings i so craved but stopped my self and ordered me a salad. Both mornings I did good as well until......................
i got home from shopping and Lord and behold Mario and my father in law BB-Q'd OMG !!!!! best carne asada I have ever had. Avocado dip hmmmmmm great with lots and lots of lemon. I ate like 6 oz of red meat..... ;-(. But afterwards went to go walk with Matt.

I must get back on it. I have a wedding in April and baptism gotta look somewhat decent.

2010-02-19T06:53:00.000-08:00

BY all means just beat me because I cheated!!!!Ate a peice of pizza yesterday and some spanish rice!!!! I could have eaten the whole thing but i stopped my self from doing so. aside from all the stress I have and that time of the month her i could have done a lot worse. I must keep trying. i have fallen but at least I am getting back up.....
Spring is just around the corner and I need to keep puching myself to keep going!!!!

Day 18

2010-02-18T06:34:00.000-08:00

Yes we are at day 18.... I feel like I am stuck at this weight I am at. Segun I should be loosing 3-5 lb a week but i don't really see that happening. Could it be that I need to do something else to help loose the weight. Maybe I am not measuring correctly I just don't know.
On another note I have not been able to go work out. Mario has been getting out late and so i have to get the boys feed, bathed and get things ready for the next day.
I have not goon to weigh in. I am looking to go in some time today or tom morrow. We will see.

Day 17

2010-02-17T09:15:00.000-08:00

Went to one those classes that are required to attend at the center on how not to eat with our emotion interesting stuff but hard to put into play. While I was there I weighed in and gained 1/2 lb. I did not get a chance to go work out cuz of a crazy evening at home witht he boys and so onnnnnnnnnn..... I would like to try and go in the morning but I need to get with Mario and see if he wants to trade me mornings and him afternoons

Day 16

2010-02-16T06:39:00.000-08:00

Went to the center yesterday evening and lost 1lb over the weekend but i know it could have been more if i wouldn't have cheated.
I went to the gym yesterday and worked out for an hour. It still does not make up for all those tamales I ate.
My mission continues......

Days 15

2010-02-15T09:29:00.000-08:00

what had happened was that ...........welll you see Saturday was my God childs birthday and well..,.,. my momma and in-laws made T A M A L E S yes tamales. SO i cheated BIG time that afternoon. I ate 4 for lunch and 4 for dinner, but I did drink my 8 glasses of water. Sunday morning was another day that I will never forget because I got so sick from all that salsa I put on those tamales. I was sick to my stomach all morning... started good on the diet once again but could not eat anything for lunch. Dinner was another ordeal because we were celebrating our 7th anniversary. I had 2 slices of pizza. and a small piece of chocolate cake. I plan on going to the gym today since i was sooooooooooooooooooooooo badddd. I think i just gained all i had lost ;0(

Day 11 and 12

2010-02-12T06:26:00.000-08:00

I can control it!!!! Yesterday I went to my moms and dads home. Of course my mom was in the kicthen cooking (SOUP< POTATOES IN CHILE) holy crap it smelled SOOOOOOOO GOOD!!!!!!
My mom of course asked me like 50 million times to go and eat but I resisted I CAN DO IT.
I weighed in yesterday and i am down another 1/2 lb. It has been 2 weeks since I had a soft drink. The first 2 days i so craved it but i have been good since then. I have been so busy at home all this week with sick kids and getting the house ready for our realator to take pictures, that I have been unable to go work out. I guess running up and down the stairs will help right?

Day 10

2010-02-10T07:22:00.000-08:00

I am so lost in my days that I don't even know what day I am living in!!!
I was supposed to start phase 3 (days 10-14) and re did day 9... what am i thinking.
I went to weigh in yesterday and gained a total of 2 lbs. How I don't know. The physican told me it could be because it's that time of month and am retaining water. I think she might be right. I don't keep track of those things so I am not sure the exact date I have my period. I do seem some what bloated but then again i just might need to drink more water.
I must confess that once i heard the bad news yesterday I ate one of Matt chicken nuggets..
I was so discouraged and was about to eat the whole batch of rice krispes I had made the boys, but I stopped and controlled myself and took a big drink of water.
AHHHHH....I will not stop I must continue.

Day 9

2010-02-09T07:39:00.000-08:00

ahhhh what a day. I am so stressed and that is not helping me loose any wieght!!!
I loose everthing but my weight!!!!!!!

Day 8

2010-02-08T07:08:00.000-08:00

OMG!!!!!! I am so fired . I gained 1/2 lb. !!!!! According to the specialist it is because i did not drink enough water this weekend which is true but it was a busy weekend with the boys.
This was my first weekend and let me tell you it was HELL!!!
Mario and my father in law went to go pick have wings and beer at out favorite wing place OHHH how i so wanted to go. They came back early due to Tony getting sick at the restaurant. AHHH how good it smelt .. i was inches from stilling a wing but thought about it twice and put it back. ohhhhh. i guess that is where my 1/2 lb came from just smelling it. LOL
any ways today is Monday to it's a whole new week to focus and hit the gym!!!!
Good to all

Day 5

2010-02-05T07:26:00.000-08:00

Wow day 5!!!! down 1 more pound.
I was suppoed to go to the gym but did not go because of the weather. It has been raining non-stop. I did rather well yesterday and did not cheat. I hope I can do the same today.
Today I started Day 1 of phase 2. The cheese and toast was rather scrumptious and the oranges my husband pick out for me was really sweet. I gave my other half of it to Juan who also gobbled it up like there was no manana. Lunch does not seem so tempting but i will have to do .
This afternoon we are planning on visiting my in-laws and thtat is going to be very had to stop and eat. They cook so good ahhhhhh HELP.....

Day 4

2010-02-04T06:43:00.000-08:00

Yesterday evening I cheated with 2oz. more of meat than what I was allowed ahhhh Do you see how easy it is to cheat!!!!!
I felt so guilty that I went and worked out. Did an our of cardio and still feel bad. I am trying to make it a habit to go at least 2-3 times a week.
Today is my last day on the first phase. I start days 5-9 tomorrow. 100 more calories than phase 1
I got to work this morning and was not as hungry as the fist 2 days. I feel I am get more thirsty now but could it because I am taking in less food or all the supplements????
Today I weigh in but I will not be surprised if I have gained back 1lb. ahhhhhh

Day 3 . . .

2010-02-03T07:11:00.000-08:00

Day three wow.... I don't know if I can do this.......
Last night I went in weigh in and lost another 1/2lb big wow-e.
Temptation is so hard ahhhhhhhh
I had to stop and pick up something for my boys to eat. The smell was so strong than I have ever smelled before. I have to take the food out of the bag and give it to them so even more close than ever to cheating. OMG omg omg omg
The truth I didn't cheat.
This morning getting ready for work my husband is in the kitchen making himself some breakfast ohhh it smelled so good the boys got hungry and ate with there daddy. The smell of the toast was so tempting but again i resisted.
MY SUPPORT KICKED IN
I was about to walk out and my husbad stops and takes on look at me from head to toe and says that he could tell a diffrence already. That made my day

Fallen and getting back up

2010-02-02T09:32:00.000-08:00

Day 2 of diet number 45.
Support check
Plan check
Self control__
Discipline__
Can this year really be my year??? How does one really obtain discipline?
If it could only be as easy as just doing it. ughhhh tired of it al